Dear Eating Disorder...
Have you ever considered writing to your eating disorder?
The cathartic process of articulating to the illness just how much it pains you and affects you, can be incredibly helpful - if a little uncomfortable too.
The cathartic process of articulating to the illness just how much it pains you and affects you, can be incredibly helpful - if a little uncomfortable too.
Here's one example of a letter written specifically to the disorder from a sufferer. What would you say?
Dear Eating Disorder
I have felt the need to write to you today, because the pain you cause my life has become intolerable these past few weeks and months.
Believe me, it was hell before.
But now there’s this sodding pandemic in the world, and all that that entails – and here I am, suffering more anxiety, fear, isolation and desperation than I ever thought I might.
Don’t you feel you’ve robbed me of enough?
Are you not satisfied that you’ve already harmed my body, affected my brain, stolen friends from me, reduced life chances, and caused untold grief to my family?
Is there more of your evil work still to come?
What makes me so angry – with me and with you – is that I like absolutely nothing about you and your persona in this world. I think you’re selfish and life-sucking and cruel…and yet I let you control me, in a way that just would not be tolerable if you were a ‘real life’ friend in my universe.
Every morning I open my eyes with good intention. I want to start the new day without you and this devastating illness in my orbit. I hope and pray I’ve got the courage to beat you at every turn, and to squash down all your antics.
But somehow, little by little, hour by hour, I allow you to creep back in to my mind and to dominate everything about the way in which I live my day.
You stop me eating the way I’d like to.
You prevent me from resting when I know how much I need to.
You make it impossible for me to concentrate on the professional and education tasks I should do.
You create in me a personality which is impatient, depressed, angry and resentful.
I hate that you do this to me.
And so eating disorder, I can only conclude, that we absolutely must part company.
I know this will not be easy for me, and that at times I’ll see you at my window, in my wardrobe, hiding behind my bedroom door…and I’ll be tempted to let you back in.
But no more can I do that.
You must go eating disorder.
You must leave me be and let me live the happy healthy life I was put on this universe to embrace.
Goodbye.
Farewell.
I will not miss you.
Enough.
Be gone.
Today begins a life for me and not for you.
No longer yours,
Me.
- Jul 2020
