"I decided enough was enough"
In our latest first person blog, we hear from Lisa Ford, as she talks about the moment she devoted herself to recovery from her eating disorder - and how it's made her happy, healthy life possible.
"I am writing my story to hopefully inspire others – recovery is possible!
I started my eating disorder journey at the age of 15.
Over the years I bounced from Anorexia, to Bulimia, extreme exercise and then finally only eating certain foods.
When I think about what I put my poor body through back then it makes me so sad.
From exercising to the point of exhaustion, to taking an entire packet of laxatives so I ‘looked ok’ in a ball gown! (I felt so ill I nearly didn’t even make the ball, and didn’t enjoy it one bit!).
My friends and family thought I was vain as I had an ‘amazing figure so why was I constantly worried about how I looked?
I finally got them to come to see a counsellor with me and they were shocked to realise I was actually ‘ill’ not vain.
When I think of some of the things I did i cannot believe that was me…
During a binge period I stole my flat mate's food as I was so desperate. This happened more than once (I am so lucky she was amazingly understanding and still my friend today!).
I think for me I started to change over a period of time. I became tired of all the binging and purging and not being able to enjoy a meal out.
When I met my husband I did start to allow myself to go out to eat (although to begin with I would take the poor guy around every single restaurant until I could find one that served what I would eat!).
As time went on and I started to believe in myself more, so I gradually started to regain an appreciation of food.
When I fell pregnant at 32 I decided at that point that enough was enough and I would not deprive myself or my baby of anything and that’s when I finally took full control back of my life.
Now, 20 years on and I have a healthy relationship with food. I love to cook, I have a really good understanding of what is a good healthy balanced diet and although I have the odd bad day when I feel full and horrible, I don’t let it take over my life.
I am worthy, I am good enough and I do deserve to be healthy and happy – words that we need to say to ourselves every day!"
- Mar 2021