It Only Gets Easier, When You Fight Harder
Let's be real about this.
You may not want to hear that it's in your gift to get well.
Truth is, many of us who've fought our way through recovery have been paralysed by that same sense of being 'unable' or 'incapable' of defeating an eating disorder.
And yet, that self-defeating talk solves nothing, for no-one.
You may be angry at the world for presenting the new trauma and challenge of Covid. You may feel furious at the threat it poses to your routines, to your restrictions, to your rigidity and your secret universe.
But while you can't change Covid alone (not in its entirety), and while you cannot guarantee when it might end or when your more normal existence will be restored, you can certainly make strides toward fighting your illness with more force and fierce determination.
We all learn the hard way that when we're not feeling particularly challenged by our eating disorder behaviours, and when we're not been driven crazy in our mind by the incessant dialogue - well then we're simply not fighting the darned thing hard enough, and we're going to stay trapped.
To overcome, and to emerge into a new world of hope, health and optimism, the eating disorder needs you to get so mad as to get even.
It won't budge an inch if you occasionally add a handful of extra cereal to your bowl one day, and follow it by a restrictive day the next.
It won't bat an eyelid if you have those bites of an Easter Egg, only to then walk an extra 1000 steps out of rigid self-sacrifice.
What delivers the death sentence to your eating disorder is to persist, and persist and to persist.
Of course you're going to hate it, feel terrified, get angry and doubt your resolve - but to move forward in life, and to gain all your dreams and hopes and wishes, it really is the single only option.
Covid is presenting us with the stark reality that life can be desperately sad, scary, and cut short all too soon.
Now, more than ever, be reminded that this blessing of a life is one to be embraced, and one to grant you joy and celebrations - not shame, sacrifice and sorrow.
Please, if you're struggling in the midst of Covid 19 and need help to stay on track, reach out and let us help.
We've recently produced a guide in conjunction with Seed Eating Disorder Services, and we're here to help you navigate this uncertain journey.
- Apr 2020