Seven Things to Consider Before Becoming a Befriender

We are continuing to seek more befrienders to support our work. If you’re thinking of joining us, here’s what you need to know before taking on this important role.

1. Your experience matters

Never belittle the experience you have.  You may not be a certified coach or qualified psychologist, but you have lived experience that the professionals often don’t have.  Be clear to the person you’re befriending that you don’t have professional qualifications, but your experience of ED and recovery gives you an insightful, empathic ad progressive perspective.

2. Triggers? What triggers?

Your in a position in recovery where you know exactly what and where your triggers are and how to call them out.  Outside of befriending you can stop people mid- sentence saying “sorry, but this conversation isn’t helpful for my well-being” or walk away from conversations without hesitation.

3. You safeguard your recovery without question.

This is the most important aspect of befriending.  You need to be aware of your own recovery journey and know that the people of Wednesday’s Child positions this as a priority.  The second you feel something is impacting on your recovery you give the team at Wednesday’s Child a shout and the befriending will pause.

4. You know your ED isn’t benefitting

We have to be honest that a percentage of folks who volunteer in the ED community is because they still want to be fixated with and constantly talking about Eating Disorders.  This motivation for becoming a befriender is benefitting your ED!  You need to be honest and confident that your reason for befriending is because you want to help recovery and not keep yourself stuck in the ED world.

5. You can call out the bullshit

At certain parts of the recovery journey bullshit will be front and centre.  If you’re ready to be a befriender, you’re ready to say to someone “hang on, you can’t kid a kidder”.  You’re not there to be a friend.  You’re there to call out the ED bullshit, lies and behaviours.

6. Snacking whilst chatting

Befriending calls are a focused and purposeful activity, but we all know that snacks help the brain work.  SO, if you can snack whilst you chat then you know that your ED is not invited to the befriending party. 

7. The truth truly matters

Don’t lie; don’t hide your truth and don’t pretend you’re living the recovery dream.  If you’re speaking with someone about the importance of mindful movement and stopping compulsive exercise, but you went on an unnecessary power walk that morning, then you’re not ready to be a befriender.  The person you’re befriending needs your truth and validation that recovery actions are right and true.

Fancy being a befriender? Email hello@wednesdayschild.co.uk